you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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