Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I didn't notice because vodka
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
