saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
