overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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