let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
