I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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