Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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