Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
In America we eat man semen.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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