i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she looked like the before picture.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
