the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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