He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
