What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
