Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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