she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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