The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
