Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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