go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he fucked my hip out of place.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
