i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize