My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
