dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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