i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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