Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
