Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
