she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
