Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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