problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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