Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
