these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
