Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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