Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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