New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
