I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
