Your tits are I can't wait for
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
