woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
