very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
now i know why i became what i already was.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
