I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
