I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
