If i come over, it means nothing
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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