Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
