Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
