i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize