Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
