I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
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