More tranny stories later!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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