I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the liver wants what the liver wants
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
