I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize