I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
