when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
