haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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