Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
