pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
