Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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