Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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