she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
