I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
