I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Found your dick twin last night
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
