BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Send help, water and tortillas.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
