I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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