If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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