The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
