i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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