I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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