I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
