It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
