ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She announced her abortion via fbk
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
