i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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