My nipple is on Facebook.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
