is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize