so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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